69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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