maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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