No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
