I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
