ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
