I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
