Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
