How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
