JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
