I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
