your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
