So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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