Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
