Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
