My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
