i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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