Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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