trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
