He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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