So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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