turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
