the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
