i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
