I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We talked him into tasing himself.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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