I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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