Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
