And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
