dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
