Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They took my balls.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
