Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
