i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
