I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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