Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
