If i come over, it means nothing
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
