i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
