"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
