my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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