Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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