Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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