I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
