Whod you bang
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
