Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think my fart just growled at me.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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