Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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