her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I didn't notice because vodka
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
