i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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