saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
