We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
