If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
