I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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