haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
