fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
